Setting the base
We do want to follow our dreams and goals. But sometimes we feel that we can’t. We are hesitating, we feel stuck and blocked. It feels we are consumed in the current reality that we find no time or energy to do something towards our dreams. So, they seem simply impossible to become true, they are only dreams, not a possible reality.
We hear the cliché of “dream big” and the thought of escaping to a different reality sounds so exciting. The thought of the practical implementation, though, is a different story. The change is too big, it’s overwhelming and we don’t know where to start. The change is so big that it might mean we have to take very serious decisions that we may not be ready for yet. The moment we think of actually leaving our partner, friends, job, location, in order to move on brings excessive anxiety and, therefore, resistance. So, the dream appears to be so far from making it a reality and the path to it is rather a nightmare.
And then giving up the dream is much easier than having it. Settling does not seem so unpleasant after all. We find value to what we already have, because it’s convenient and familiar. We build routines for a reason, they make us feel calm and we have everything under control. So, we go to “Plan B” again and again. It’s one thing to be appreciative and finding the good side of everything or be flexible and not get overly attached to very specific outcomes and it’s another thing to compromise all the time, to endure unwanted situations, sugarcoating and calling ourselves strong for dealing with them, or blaming life for being unfair and hard.
So, how do we step into our bliss? Firstly, we have to have the intention. And this intention has to be strong. We have to know our “why”. We have to have strong reason to back it up, otherwise we tend to give up the moment things get inconvenient, we think we don’t have the strength to go on (even though five minutes ago we were calling ourselves strong for undertaking all kinds of shitty situations) or that we are not good enough for our goal after all. Who am I to deserve all that I dream? I’m being greedy to ask for so many things. Life is hard and wanting to have things easy and my way is very selfish, lazy and self-centered! Hello blame, judgement, criticism, shame and guilt. Welcome!
Our “why” is simply our birth right for a healthy, prosperous and joyful life. Yet, we pinch off of it so much we end up staying with whatever is left to be decent (or not always so), having the sensation of constantly fighting and actually believing that that’s how it’s supposed to be. We basically have all these limiting beliefs that prevent us from being hopeful, purposeful, risky, passionate and pleased.
A belief is a thought we thought many times we made it a reality. It is not a reality and we are not our thoughts. We have been creating our belief system since we are kids, based on what we are taught and we keep on adding aspects as we experience life. So, as we go along, things happen to us and we interpret them based on our already established system, adding up to our reality. We perpetuate the way we already think and behave. If our life experiences have lead us to operate from fear then we view events as threatening, we tend to act passively, we think life happens to us. We like to control things and we enjoy our routines even if we don’t like them. We want to feel safe to the point we cannot deviate at all, being afraid of change.
Emotions are short-lived; that’s their nature. We hold on to them with our thoughts. So, if we feel stuck with a specific negative emotion it’s because we have an inner dialogue going on that perpetuates the specific feeling. Acknowledging our persistence or our repetitiveness with specific subjects is very crucial to start dealing with the negativity we feel. Holding on to our negative thoughts or deciding to stop the rabbit holes is something we have a choice on. Likewise, consciously thinking on a positive pattern will catch momentum and bring positive emotions to the surface. This is, also, a matter of deciding.
We have the false assumption that it is the circumstances and the situations that cause us to feel a certain way. We think that when we get that job we will feel successful, when we meet that ideal person we will feel love, if we make money we will feel abundant and free. As weird as it may sound it’s the other way around. When we feel love we attract people that have healthy loving patterns, when we feel abundant, truly appreciating what we already have, then the money comes and when we feel worthy and capable the job opportunities show up.
We attract what we are. If we want to bring into our life certain situations we have to be a true representative of our desires. Similarly, if we don’t like what we already have in life, the fastest way to figure out why so is to look inwards to see how we behave in analogous ways. Life mirrors us, it doesn’t just happen. Consequently, again it is a matter of deciding how to proceed and lean purposefully to feel safe, loved, adequate and apt, prosperous, fulfilled, eager and passionate; truly and genuinely, not by comparison to others and not for the sake of others. If we dedicate our time and energy around this type of inner dialogue, the emotions will simply adjust.
A perfect tool for that is to meditate to silence the noisy mind, concentrate on warming the heart and open up to compassion, love and forgiveness. Another great tool is to journal and go on and on with self-love talk, affirmations and gratitude lists. Being deliberate about our thoughts is fundamental and very effective; in essence, we “manipulate” our brain to have the desired results.
We make choices, consciously or not, all the time for every little detail in our lives. We are powerful creators, even if we mess up and create unwanted situations. Being purposeful and having intention in life is empowering us with choice and therefore freedom. The more clear and positive intention we have, the more choices and opportunities appear for us to pick. We build momentum and then we embody the feeling of satisfaction, realizing how powerful creators we are indeed.
