My meditation

The first steps of a beginner.

I would like to share some more practical insight that I have found very useful in my personal journey so far. You can call it spiritual or more scientific-based, very valuable and effective nonetheless. It’s my personal attempt to meditate.

For some reason the meditation process always intrigued me. I felt an inexplicable attraction to it and a sweet challenge to “master” it. My first attempts were at a yoga studio, guided by a wonderful yogini whom I intuitively trusted a lot right when I first met her, even though I did yoga with her sporadically less than 10 times in total. It failed. I could not concentrate almost at all. I could concentrate on the breath cycle, as she guided, but I felt nothing energetic or spiritual or meaningful. I never felt like giving a try on my own, because I felt nothing moving in me.

Years later, I bought an online coaching course and the coach started off every video with an about 3-minute long meditation asking God/angels/universe for guidance and support regarding whatever the thematic of the video. And it just clicked. Was I in need for the coaching practice to work? Was I in desperate need for things to get better in my life in general? Do I care to find out? No. It worked. I felt concentrated and centered; I felt a distinct energy in my heart area, I felt guided and supported by a higher power.

Being raised in a religious Christian family I came to dislike all religions. I cannot say I was ever seriously burdened or obligated to follow any religious practices, but the notion of the good Christian and the good girl was present and there were times that I felt suffocated. Although, it felt very natural to respect other people’s choices, I came to dislike anything that had to do with religion as far as I wanted to express myself. To cope with this internal conflict I defined myself as agnostic, not wanting to touch anything that had to do with something superior, and found very cute all these traditional practices people liked to perform. Basically, I was disrespectful to me and the others.

So, when the coach mentioned ‘God/angels/universe”, boy did it kick hard, bringing up all kinds of childhood memories, but at the same time I could not resist the whole-hearted feeling my body experienced. It almost got me into feeling guilty for not trying all my life at all to look into what God is, regardless what others have to say. Fortunately, the excitement of a successful meditation took over, so I started to practice on my own to replicate the feeling. It helped when I was stressed to relax, when I was happy to amplify the positivity, to silence the busy, noisy mind, to see my inner power and wisdom and leave the others be. Of course, there were times I didn’t feel it working at all, but the lesson of releasing the resistance and let things come to me with ease was part of the valuable lesson, too.

And all of a sudden, all kinds of meditation-related information presented to me. I was wondering about the universe’s power and I found out about Abraham Hicks and the notorious Law of Attraction. They explain that this cosmic force will appear to you in any form that your mind can associate. If you want to see angels, angels you will see. If you want to see a warm light or stars beaming, then that is what you will see. The point is to connect with the source for the purpose of co-creating; that we are of source energy ourselves and for this we have access to infinite power and consciousness. They talk about frequencies and that everything is of a vibrational nature. They talk about experiencing everything in life with ease and love and that we attract every single thing that happens to us; taking full responsibility is my favorite subject. Guess what? They suggest to meditate daily for connecting with source, in order to be deliberate creators in everything in our lives.

Being skeptical at first, I wondered about the science behind all this and I stumbled upon Dr. Joe Dispenza, a neuroscientist and researcher, that beautifully explains the effectiveness of meditation to the human body, how our thoughts have electric charge and our feelings have magnetic charge, therefore, us having a certain electromagnetic charge all the time and how that attracts or pushes away people and situations. He refers to the quantum field and gives guidance on how to tap in, in order to have access to the cosmic field for infinite power in manifesting the life we want. Meditation is his way.

Letting go more of the resistance for the supernatural, I came across the notion of energetic points or chakras or how we embody energies, such as feminine and masculine and the importance of clearing and balancing them. We live in action-oriented (masculine energy) societies that ask constantly for more and more action, resulting in draining and emotional (feminine energy) separation. It’s not cool to love because it’s vulnerable and weak. We are overly sexual, demanding to the point of dominating, we justify anger repressing trauma and we numb ourselves with power or substances. We feel unworthy, confused, people pleasing, shameful or drowning in our emotions. These, so-called, blocked or wounded energies make up for a dysfunctional pattern of life. One way to work on them and release blocks is surely meditation. There are all kinds of guided ones assessing specific energies or energy points that I, personally, have found to be very effective.

For me, now, the notion of meditation has a very broad range of experiencing it. It is a matter of concentrating inwards and having access to my cognitive and emotional state at the moment. Be it very short moments of focusing, such as repeating phrases-mantras, be it listening to Abraham Hick’s lectures or shamanic drumming audios while I cook or jog, or dedicating a good amount of time and energy to follow more extensive practices, it all comes to the point of being present; present to the here and now, mindful and conscious, so that I am more aligned and deliberate. This awareness feels simply dope.

Once you open the door to exploring the supernatural and cosmic forces the paths are infinite. There is no one way to define and express it. Bits and pieces of exactly what you want are presented to you everywhere you look. You look up for specific subjects, you find related IG accounts, you meet people that are of similar mentality or you find that the people you already know have similar line of thinking. At any point, you can choose what resonates and whether it accelerates you towards a positive experience or creates discomfort and resistance. Experiencing new practices and feelings is not always an ascending route and for this you should respectfully acknowledge any uneasiness or distress that is brought up. People — including me over here possibly– and practices can be off the edge and approaching with trust is crucial.

I have come to define my personal beliefs regarding higher universal forces and although I clearly and unapologetically differentiate from some people’s beliefs, I am glad to do so with no disrespect whatsoever, believing in and supporting each and everyone’s wisdom and choices more than ever. We all know what is best for us, instinctively and consciously, creating a life path that we can either be happy or happy to have learned.