Holding The Vibe
The smooth and joyful navigation.
We ideally would want to be in a positive place all the time. We call it the happy place. We actually identify happiness as positive-only, negative-free. At the same time we idealize some negative experiences, be it “every obstacle is an opportunity” and “the best is yet to come” only to wait for the best that got lost somehow on the way to show up.
Every change is hard at first, even if it’s the most anticipated and desired one. Our body simply needs the time to adjust to the new data that is not familiar yet. The way we process change and the unfamiliar is a personal issue and it’s the time where some of our coping mechanisms show up, such as to numb ourselves out through it, make us look away really really quick to pretend everything is normal, or deal with it and endure in awareness not pretending it’s not hard.
The idea of the bigger the change the harder it feels is, however, one of the biggest limiting beliefs we can have. Just because I know in advance that I’m going to get uncomfortable doesn’t mean I have no impact on the way I can process things. Changes and their inconvenience are in fact great opportunities to be more and more aware of how much we operate from lack and scarcity vs from abundance and potential.
Is my way on survival mode? Then I’m experiencing things as threats and people or situations are perceived as obstacles that undermine my goals and life. Vice versa, if I see limitations and hindrances everywhere then I am in fact on safety mode, constantly trying to make it to the surface. Why would I welcome change? Why would I welcome my constant upgrade? Why would I celebrate my wins if I see them as exceptions to my challenging everyday life?
And here comes self-love and respect. To hold the damn space for ourselves and not pretend it’s something not inconvenient. Here comes the time to leave any blame for others or the circumstances and mainly leave the self-blame for not showing up in a robotic, superhuman way that knows it all. Here comes the time to forgive ourselves for not instantly transmuting into what we imagine as this fearless, bad-ass executor. And here comes the time to recognize the self-sabotage for not believing in ourselves, not allowing for dreams and desires, for not acknowledging our full potential.
We set personal priorities even if we don’t realize we do. How can I give myself permission to be deliberate and decisive if I want to please others all the time? How will I be creative and playful if I’m not supporting myself taking risks? How can I live care-free, joyfully and unapologetically if I still need the external validation and approval? We can surely enjoy and welcome the support and care of others, but when the behavior and actions of the people around me define the way I feel then that’s the main ingredient for codependent relationships. It’s one thing to engage constructively and hold each other accountable and another to long for praise, justice, attention, forced compatibility or others to change for my convenience.
Truth is the feelings and thoughts we are experiencing are up to us to choose. We can always decide what to think and feel, as long as we are aware. Awareness is ongoing engagement with our deepest desires. It’s what we call soul, the inner knowing, the vertical cognition. That feels like coming home. It feels as if we already knew and we just remembered. It’s the confident intuition that others feel in their gut and others in their heart. When we silence the noise in our minds we can actually be mindful and conscious of what we truly want to experience. When the monkey mind stops the heart listens. And then the priorities are set accordingly letting us feel the clarity and certainty to act and behave respectively.
We hold the vibe by choosing us again and again. It’s when we hold the space for all the shadows to rise when we have the opportunity to shed light. When we consciously forgive and accept ourselves it’s a matter of time to do it for others as well. When we fill our cup then we can treat others. When we choose to see the potential then we can ask for more and welcome life upgrades. We decide for a fulfilling life and we inspire others on our way to it. We then respond purposefully instead of hopelessly reacting in every situation that comes up.
